A Song Forgotten

My heart feels like a long forgotten song that has been lost with time, yet has been sentenced to carry on the wind forever listening to every other song that is and ever will come to be, without anyone to play it's melody again.

Locked Away

I still hold a small grain of hope contained in a glass jar, encased in cement, and surrounded by steel walls, tucked away into the deepest corner of my heart, and that is where it will stay until the day that you decide to do something with it.

Doesn't Mean

Just because I am sitting tall,
it doesn't mean I don't feel small,
doesn't mean I have much pride,
doesn't mean I have nothing to hide,
I don't want to remember what I can't forget.

Who They Are

They don't just look. They notice. They don't just smile. They wave. They will never know who they might save. Their kinds words won't ever be taken for granted, their kind faces will never be forgotten. They brighten, only to brighten.

Finding Myself

 I try to be happy I try to be nice, I am not quite sure if just trying will suffice. Words unspoken, words I wish I hadn't said lead to regrets spinning in my head. Try to listen the next time I speak, the underlying meanings, that sometimes I leak. I hope for remembrance, I hope to forget, I'm not quite sure what I hope for just yet. See how I used to be, see how I am now, contrast, compare, and crinkle your brow.

Brilliant Storm

Shadows of the moving branches of a tree dance in the light of a street lamp. Lightning bolts seem to be playing tag, when jumping from cloud to cloud. Different shocks of color strike the ground at unexpected intervals sending the earth shaking, and an explosion of noise entering the air each time. The thunder resembles music of the best kind, because with unplanned timing the music it makes has never been played nor will ever be played again. It accompanies the patter of the rain perfectly and like well practiced musicians they go on through the night.

Shattered

Heart break, longing for love the pain is of a different kind. It effects your mental and emotional state and the aching agony seems endless. My mind can't help but wander to the deep dark place it does every time the subject of having someone comes up or there is something that reminds of it, and the doubt of ever finding someone of my own clouds over. Maybe my perspective is ridiculous and I need to find a new way of looking at things to find some small trace of hope. As of now I frankly don't feel like it. My heart has been ripped out, shredded, and stomped on, I really don't think I can handle that again anytime soon. He was perfect, but I know it can never happen again, there are too many consequences. The after effects of falling in love is the most horrible hangover of the heart, and for fear of getting another pounding head ache I do not want to get drunk again.


A panic rises in me whenever I remember the vexing torment that I once experienced. For now the pain is a dull seasless throbbing that is so much apart of me that it goes unnoticed until it is thought of, and I want to keep it that way not wanting it to grow into the unbearable monster it used to be. Whenever it is thought upon though, it is a constant reminder of the former suffering. And so I won't place myself in that kind of vulnerable situation again. I must give up on love it is the logical solution to this mess of a problem I call my life, so I can at least try to function like a regular person again. I used to be normal, and then extremely happy, but it had to end as all wonderful things do, sending me spiraling downwards into a bottomless pit of dread. Surprisingly at times throwing me deeper than I thought possible, until I cannot find the end of it's masses, becoming desperate trying to dig myself from it's depths and at my many futile attempts, seemingly finding it impossible. The question is, can I really be sure that anything is impossible?